It’s a New Year, time for new resolutions and chants of “New Year, New Me”. Time to leave old friends in the past and to complain about how bad last year was. I never subscribed to any New Year new attitude and resolutions. I always subscribed to setting daily goals and daily changes so my life can be better overall. I’m not trying to say I’m better than anyone or their approach is wrong and mine is right. I’m just saying what works for me.
To me everyday we should self-reflect and work on self-discovery. This way there aren’t any bad years, only years of learning and growth. Obviously, there will be bad days and unpleasant moments in life; however, these moments or days shouldn’t define an entire year.
2017 was a year I lost several childhood friends to death, I saw the end of my five-year relationship with my daughter’s mother, I lost so-called friends, and I fell on some challenging times; however, like Big Sean, I bounced back. In each situation I learned something and I valued the things I had even more. I could have blamed everyone else for my issues, I could’ve stayed in denial about certain things but the only way to learn and bounce back is to be accountable for your actions and your life. We all have to remember that we aren’t always right or victims.
Through my most recent situations I learned who are my true friends and who are only there when they’re in need or want something. I could be mad at those who only come around when everything is going well and disappear when I’m unable to help them, but why waste unnecessary energy being upset. I chose to use my energy by focusing on things that will benefit me in my life. Instead of being mad at these people, I just thank them for showing me who they are. I distance myself from them and I love them from afar. I learned my lesson of how I have to stop making these people a priority over my responsibilities, goals, and obligations.
In 2017, I also learned how to say no to people and if they don’t like it it’s their issue and not mine. I live by the principle, “ I don’t bother anyone and as long as you don’t get in the way of where I am going then I have no problem with you. However, if you stand in my way then I’m going through you”. To some I know this isn’t the most positive thing to say, but who said everything what motivates has to be positive?
While I’m on the subject, I must address “labels” and the concept of labels. Through my recent self-reflections and self-discovery I realized I was living a life of a lie. By allowing people to box me in with their labels for me because of my basketball talent and knowledge, or because I coach, or because I’m an author, entrepreneur, and I motivate people, doesn’t mean I’m defined be those things. My talents doesn’t give people the right to tell me what I can or cannot do and better yet I shouldn’t allow people to place those expectations on me. Although, I am motivating and a role model doesn’t mean I am perfect and I shouldn’t cuss and should be held to a higher or lower standard. I fuck up too. (You see what I did there?)
I’m Vid Lamonte’ Buggs Jr, this is how I chose to be defined. I was living a lie of being happy being defined by my talents or what others saw of me. In reality, I am much more than my talents and what others chose to see me as. I realized by living within the labels others put on me I become a slave to them.
The best interview I heard all year was Mase’s interview with Angie Martinez. Everything he said in the interview I related to on so many levels. He spoke on self-reflecting, self-discovery, and how each day is a new life. He also spoke on how people say what he is or isn’t supposed to do because he is a pastor. He explained 1) “ I am Mason Betha before anything….” 2) “In order to tell me what I’m not suppose to do, you first have to do your research in what I believe….. All Christians don’t believe the same.” 3) “I am Spiritual not religious. Religion is based on laws. Spirituality has to deal with your personal relationship with the Almighty”. Think on all of this for a few moments.
Let me bring everything back to the “New Year New Me” and New Year’s resolutions. In order to become the new you in the New Year you must take everything day by day. This includes reflecting and discovering yourself each day. You must live, learn, and forgive yourself and others because bringing negative thoughts and feelings into the New Year will only keep you living in the past. The way to forgive is to understand that we don’t see things or believe the same. A new you emerge only by not living with labels that others place on you and by growing daily.
Here’s to the New You/New Me.
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Vid Lamonte’ Buggs Jr is the author of You Ain’t Hungry Until I’m Starving and Vid’s Viddles. Copyright© 2018 http://www.vidbuggs.com.